If school's timetable is not going right, they must be going left (yeah, and not even in the middle).

 

It gets extremely frustrating when one cannot get the modules they want, and and even more irritated when the planning for the timetable becomes inflexible due to some commitments.

Not that I am saying that I regretted committed because unless I have supernatural powers or something, this is something which I can never foresee.

I am currently stuck, much worse than stuck in a toilet bowl. (>,<") and I really have no idea what i should do. Probably there IS a simple solution out there, and it is just that i am too emotional/blind to see it. Argh!!

Maybe I need to just bury my head into a pillow and hope that tomorrow is a better day. :X

 

 

PS. I think it is a bad omen to be sick once school starts, right? I am sick now..should see a doctor but...i'm lazy.. :X

Right now, I do wish that i can just sit in a corner and not do anything at all. Right now, I am absolutely feeling pissed off and stressed out.

Right now, I do wish someone would just assault me and hit me on the head and make me lose my consciousness.

What Mr. Fortune Teller said seemed to be coming true. The coming year is gonna be a tough year for me, and I think I am starting to feel the so-called 'beginning' effects..Nothing is going right, everything is going left. Worse!! I think the outcome of my timetable is going in the middle!! (>,<")

Does anyone believe in fortune-telling?

Writer's Block:
Call it gym, P.E., recess, or pure hell, most people have participated in a class at school that focused on games and athletics. What sport or game did you hate the most when you were a kid? What sport or game was your favorite? 

Oh!! I used to hate running when I was young as I had poor stamina...(-,-")  But my favourite game is tennis..though the irony is that I tried to play once with my cousin. The closest game I played in school is mini-tennis, but the ball they used are not those typical tennis balls..Hmm..I think they somehow look like the rubber balls.. But guess what? My teacher commented that mini-tennis is mostly played by those 'aunties'!! 

Me>> (()_o")

Yeah..speaking of writer's block..I had no idea how to continue my previous story, "Messages". *cracks brain*  Argh!!  (>,<")

If anyone can lean something from their dreams(which reminds me of Sigmund Freud), I think I did yesterday.

I had a dream..And that dream totally horrifies me!!

MY TEETH DROPPED in 1 hour!! And the worse part was when I tried to call dentist for help, I get weird answers from the clinic assistant, and soon I can't speak!!

(O_o")

Yeah, I shocked myself, and was utterly scared when I tried to wake up but couldn't.

The first thing that came to my mind was:

"Buy Anlene milk to strengthen your bones."



PS. I had another dream the day before in which i was running away from my own marriage. (-,-")  Don't ask me what the groom looks like cos' I have no idea. I only know I was running from my own marriage ceremony. Argh!!! Gross!! (>,<")

Finally! After the school horrors, I must congratulate that my head and brain are still intact!

To reward myself for living happily, I had treated myself to a few days of freedom,which is equivalent to many hours spent in front of laptop to watch anime!!


Muahaha..Life's great...for now..that is till exam results are released.. (>,<")



PS.I'm sorry for the lack of blog updates as I was 'stuck' at home all day, watchin my animation...So my life is pretty 'normal'..(geex, I sounded as though my life is abnormal all the time!)

(-,-")

No, not in a sense of physically lost, but psychologically lost.

A very close friend of mine, was caught in the relationship that she seemed to be unable to break out of. For the first time , she cried over the phone when she called me, and I sense her confusion, helplessness and disappointment.

She mentioned that she could not bear to break up with her boyfriend. But she would have to do so if the boyfriend took the initiative. She asked me to email him, asking him to make a decision and not drag the relationship as it was hurting the both of them.

I really wonder if I made the wrong decision in agreeing, because after I sent an email to her boyfriend, he replied. In a way, I began to understand from his point of view too, and not just only from my friend's account  of her story.

Apparently he loves my friend. He still loves her and that's why he did not take the initiative to ask for a breakup. He believed that there might be some chance, maybe a little chance that they will still end up together.

But maintaining a long-distant relationship is difficult. Not to mention the fact that families of both parties aren't that approving of their relationship in the first place.

I don't know how to reply her anymore. I don't know how to reply her boyfriend too. I do not want the both of them to continue to suffer in pain. But as an outsider, what can I do?

Relationships make humans weak. Relationships make people vulnerable.

I am so sorry for the lack of updates! :"(  I do miss popping at livejournal..but I swear this is the first thing I would want to do once my exams are over! Yeah! I am counting down...it will be over once 21st nov is over!!! Cheerios!! (^-^)v

I was listening to the song on the radio, "I Believe I can Fly" when I realised that my mind was 'hallucinating"...Scary...and thinking about food.. (-,-")


My Version:

I really think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of exams
I'm leaning on my breaking arms

If I can’t see it, then I can’t do it
Even if I believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can die
I don’t think I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Chicken wings that fly away ---------> I thought that was funny..maybe i was hungry.. :X
I don’t think I can soar
I see me running through that closing door
I believe I can die
I believe I can die
I believe I can die



I HATE EXAMS!!!! (>,<")

How ironic life can be. For a moment, i can strongly tell anyone that I am a rational person, and prefers not to have any emotions to blind my vision.

And the next moment, I was crying...in front of my mum and fully aware that I was being irrational but I just could not help it.

Now i think I truly understand why cousin said that unless i have gone through the same thing, I would not be able to understand why people are irrational at times. (eg, relationship problems)

It was just happened that I knew that the 2 brats in my home had brought a balloon home!  Although they had hid it somewhere in this little box of flat,  and the fact that Mum emphasized that it was small, I couldn't help but feel terrified.

I couldn't stop crying,  and keep insisting my mum to throw that offending thing away.  The very thought that I am in the same place as the balloon with nowhere else to run to...suffocates me.

Come to think of it, I think I don't cry when I am outside, faced with a balloon, was because I knew I could run...run somewhere safe and hide.

Being angry, i locked my desktop and made my stand clear that if my 2 siblings were to bring the darn balloon into the house again, they can't play any computer games at all.

i know fully well that I am being selfish, and irrational....But I can't help it.  it is already a daunting task that drains my mental strength whenever I saw balloons outside. :(

I doubt anyone will understand - the extent of my fear.

Argh! I do wish that I am NOT like this, but I am afraid to take the first step in tryin to overcome my fear.

Yeah..I am useless...in a way. :(

Yeah! I was so happy when I managed to post a new story on ff.net... I seriously hope that this story is good. Of course, it also signals that I am slacking from my school work!! (-,-")

I have decided to name the story, "Pretending"...

Okay...back to work!

What would you do if you were invisible for 24 hours?

I think most likely I would coop myself up in my room and write TezuFuji stories, or read stories on them! (^-^)


So sorry for the lack of updates..Life's been pretty busy, and yet the events occur in the same sequence everyday..Nothing exciting, but I have been working on a story on TezuFuji! (^-^)v

Hope that I can post it up soon! (of cos, that shall be done after I am done with all the editing and stuff)

After contemplating and listening to music to source for ideas, I did manage to come up with a new story line! Yeah! I have already started working on it, but I do worry that it might become another typical Mary-Sue story. Hmmm...  I have decided to name the story, Pretence. (^-^)v

Oh...regarding Eiji Kimumaru, which is his first name?  I got confused.. (-,-")

PS. I thought of writing a oneshot PerfectPair, but it is of a fairy tale setting. Is it a good idea? O_o

I saw the personality test that speadee took..and I thought I might give it a shot...

Here are the results:

Independent Thinker (IT)

Independent Thinkers are analytical and witty persons. They are normally self-confident and do not let themselves get worked up by conflicts and criticism. They are very much aware of their own strengths and have no doubts about their abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness.

Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are their world. They are eager for knowledge and always endeavour to expand and perfect their knowledge in any area which is interesting for them. Abstract thinking comes naturally to them; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type

Independent Thinkers are specialists in their area. The development of their ideas and visions is important to them; they love being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because they often find it a strain having to make their complex trains of thought understandable to other people. Independent Thinkers cannot stand routine. Once they consider an idea to be good it is difficult to make them give it up; they pursue the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.

ndependent Thinkers are not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about their emotional life is also not one of their strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to them; they are happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share their intellectual world. They find it difficult to establish new ties. In love, they need a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that their partner is not important to them. Independent Thinkers often make a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: they can hardly bear it if people close to them should reject them. They prefer a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares their interests and with whom they can realise their visions.

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, independent, intellectual, self-confident, analytical, structured, dogged, witty, resolute, self-critical, visionary, inventive, independent, unsociable, reserved, nonconformist, quiet, visionary, honest, demanding, hardworking



Ar..interesting...Nice to know myself more. (^-^)

The more i think about it, the more I am quite tempted to cancel this LJ and change it to using Blogger...Apparently, I am still dumb at using this LJ...*sniffs*  I wonder when will the day come when I got the chance to make my LJ into Prince of Tennis theme..  :X

Oh!! Loads of ideas about my next fiction are in my mind...But there are so many of them...and I do worry about making too many typical stories though... :X

Worries worries...ar...hair will become white soon.. (-,-")


PS. Anyone wants to help me make a new theme for my LJ? :D